


The Drop that Didn't Become the Ocean

by intergalacticpanic



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Holodecks/Holosuites, Light Angst, M/M, Pining, Post-Canon, Shapeshifting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2019-02-18 09:29:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13097235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intergalacticpanic/pseuds/intergalacticpanic
Summary: Quark finds himself in the habit of meeting with a phoney Odo years down the line in hopes of making his day-to-day experience more bearable. Phoney Odo greets him with a new form each time, meanwhile the real Odo is quite possibly never going to come back; and Quark wants to forget about it.





	1. The Bird Over the Savannah

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is a mini series kind of deal, it's pretty much all written already but I thought I'd post the early parts all together because they're a little shorter and also I'm not as pleased with them as I am with the later parts. Basically, a holographic Odo stirs up lotsa feels.

Quark watched the bird rise with the air current, floating upwards against the horizon for a moment and then dipping down again. He thought he might have heard it cry amongst the sound of the winds in his ears as he held a hand up to shield his eyes, blinking in the sunlight.

The savannah below them both rustled, a wild expanse of grasses blowing about in the breeze in unison like the weeds at the ocean floor move with the undercurrents. The bird dived towards them, beating its wings to catch an updraft and pull up at the final moment, skyrocketing once more. It went spiralling and swooping on the air currents as if it was conjuring them in that very moment, and Quark almost felt free himself. He blinked again when the winged creature came about in front of the sun, splitting rays that came down into rapidly contracting pupils. It cried again, flying a loop the loop and soaring towards him, wings outstretched as it slowed on its approach. A few metres away from the Ferengi on the hilltop it began to transform into something new, feet setting down on the ground in front of him just as fingers came out of feathers on the tips of what was previously a pair a wings.

"What do you want, Quark?" Odo looked positively refreshed, which Quark supposed was an aftereffect of taking to the skies. He almost felt envious, being able to fly away from your problems in a literal sense must be much more stress relieving than the frequent talking-his-way-out-of-it that he was used to.

"So this is what you do in your spare time. I must say, I'm disappointed. I expected much more moping and misery."

"I'm so sorry this didn't fulfil any of your fantasies, but even so, I don't remember asking for any visitors."

"Oh, you didn't. So what else is there? Plains, mountains, maybe the bottom of an ocean? Must be relaxing to be able to take a shape to fit into all these different places."

"I don't appreciate the intrusion." Quark looked him over, aware of the reminder that the Odo's reality was perhaps the one he struggled to come to terms with the most.

"Ah, well. I'm actually here to escort you out… I just closed the bar, so if you would please-" Quark gestured behind him insinuating that they should leave before realising his mistake and clapping a hand to his mouth.

"I know the way." Odo scoffed, sauntering forward with purpose.

Quark caught him before he got very far. He didn't fancy telling Odo that he could never leave the suite quite so early into this whole affair.

"Computer, end programme."

The sounds of the winds faded into the whirring of the holosuite.


	2. The Panther in the Jungle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things develop a little.

Quark stepped into the holosuite and fell into a crouch as soon as he registered the ambience of a rainforest.

It was the dead of night. Moonlight filtered down through the forest canopy, providing him with just enough illumination to make out the leaves upon leaves around him that dripped with fresh rain. Shuffling forward, he moved one out of the way with two fingers and looked into a small muddy clearing, spraying droplets over himself that soaked into his sleeves and he grimaced in distaste of damaging good clothing. As he was about to advance into the opening, he stopped dead in his tracks and listened intently. The gift that was his acute sense of hearing alerted him to the low growling reverberating against the forest floor very early on. Despite being in an artificial situation and in no real danger Quark forgot to breathe, making to fumble his way back into the shrubbery as discreetly as possible when his gaze found the source of the noise. A black jaguar scented the air of the clearing, its tail flickering at the tip from one side to another. Kneeling close to the floor, Quark observed its hefty paws sink into the wet clay and rotting leaves.

 

He admired the predatory animal, taking a liking to its hidden strength and its dignified, lonely air because it reminded him of Odo and kept his fear at bay despite his initial, more primal instincts telling him to flee in the face of a threat to his survival. It moved further into the open space and the filtered light revealed dark rosettes on its flanks, close enough for Quark to count them easily if the creature would stay still. It scented again, this time opening its mouth in the flehmen response.

Somewhere along the line they made eye contact as if the creature knew exactly where to find him. They were a familar pale shade of blue, Quark noted, so he hissed:

 

"Odo?"

 

The jaguar made another low growl, but it sounded like much more like neutral communication than hostility, so the Ferengi entered the clearing with it. It arched its back up into Quark's outstretched hand, making its height up to his waist. Unsure of what to say he kept his hand there in the coarse fur as it retreated into the skin of the animal; until the jaguar became Odo, kneeling before him with Quark's hand on his upper back. It was oddly endearing that he had made the effort to mimic the behaviour of his forms, even if he had no real need to.

"Whatever that was, it looked beautiful." Said Quark, despite the thick mud covering their legs and Odo's hands. Odo looked up at him when rising to his feet, the hand upon him falling to the small of his back. They stared at each other for at least ten seconds, in which Quark's free hand flexed and itched at the palm and Odo looked peaceful.

"Taking the form of a non-bipedal, predatory mammal can be most invigorating. They have this… absolute sureness in their steps that is wonderful to emulate." If he noticed the faint rosette markings Odo had kept over the edge of his face and neck, Quark didn't say anything about it. 

"Ah. Do you take that form often? It uh, it suits you." He pressed his hand a little firmer against Odo's back and willed himself to feel something that would alert him to the innards of a live changeling, but nothing came. He felt perturbed.

Odo continued on, only this time with only half of Quark's attention.  
"Not always, but I do take it more often than most other forms. It is familiar to me now, and yet every time I take it I manage to experience something new." He looked at the bartender poignantly; Quark thinks for a moment that he might confess something he dreamt about once or twice on a long night but shakes it off. "Being petted has never been the first reaction to one of my more predatory forms. In fact, I think being petted is entirely a new experience in it's own right." The fingers resting against Odo twitched, awkwardly stroking against him in an experimental manner and he made no move to object.

"Well, you can count on me for unpredictability…" Quark removed his hand from Odo's back, the simulated bajoran uniform a little coarse to the touch just as the jaguars fur had been. Neither seemed impressed or particularly satisfied to be out of contact now that they'd been comfortably touching for several minutes without interruption.

"And I suppose you think that I should thank you for that." The animal markings across Odo's face had begun to fade out now, along with the slight upturn he had to his lips.

"You're welcome. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be getting to bed. Quark nodded in good humour, bid him goodnight and began trudging towards the exit, more than a little confused.

"Computer, end programme."

The sounds of the forest died out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) thanks for reading


	3. The Fish in the Sea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And suddenly the feels hit a lot more deeply.

Upon seeing the ocean, Quark had taken his boots off to stand in the shallows. He cursed and tasted the salt in the air when a gentle wave caught the bottom of his suit, hastily pulling the material up his calves and digging his toes into the sand. The sound of a rough tide was usually enough to aggravate his sensitive hearing, but here the waters were so calm that the noise felt more like a soft caress than harsh hissing. Quark stared into them, and caught a glimpse of a fish that circled around his ankle twice.

 

"Hey," Bending over slightly, he took a closer look and saw that it was full of golden scales, and extremely agile. Like a magpie he was attracted to the way the sunlight bounced off of those scales. He dipped a single finger into the water about an inch or so away. Much to his surprise the fish didn't retreat, but instead began to circle his finger like it had been doing with his ankle a moment ago. Taking that as a good sign, Quark edged closer and rubbed the side of his finger against the creature. Though it didn't feel particularly pleasant he was intrigued and liked the way its colouring reminded him of gold-pressed latinium, so he brought his other hand down to join the first and cupped them under the fish. Just as he began to lift it up, it darted out and made it's escape. Instinctively Quark took a step after it, stirring up the sand. By now he had completely lost track of where the fish had gone, and had splashed himself in the process.

"Ach, who cares anyway." He groaned, straightening his back and shaking as much of the water from his hands as he could.

The sun beat down on the back of his head and neck with no clouds to obscure it, and he had begun to work up a sweat underneath his several layers of fabric. Raising his eyes to the horizon and sighing, he found nothing but the sea. Looking back over his shoulder was an expansive beach littered with bits of driftwood, a trail of his footsteps running straight down the middle that became more prominent as they hit the damp sand.

"Don't you know that fish can't respire out of the water? They have gills." Odo's voice came from behind him. He spun back around, coming a little to close to Odo's face for general comfort with the slope of the water's edge. Odo took a step forward. Quark took one backwards.

"I didn't think you needed to breathe." He replied, feeling his trouser leg slipping down his leg and desperately fighting the urge to pull it back away from the incoming waves. 

"I don't, but you shouldn't have known that I was the fish at that point. How could you tell?"

"Odo, this is a holoprogramme-" Odo knelt in front of him and began pulling the dripping ends of his trouser leg back up his calf for him. Quark backed out of the water so quickly that the two trouser legs came down immediately, which only spurred Odo onwards. With a 'tch' sound he followed him up, coming forward and kneeling again in the sand this time. Quark slapped a hand to his forehead and pushed him away.  
"Uh no that's fine thanks, I'm fine."

Odo looked at him in bewilderment but he let it go, rising to his feet cautiously slow.

In the split second that Odo's face had been level with his hips Quark had felt an unwanted spike of arousal rise from the base of his spine as if it had been coiled there all day and all it needed was an external trigger.

It worsened when he looked back up at Odo, strong and proud Odo against the backdrop of the sea and the sky, his eyes clear and questioning. He swallowed thickly and the changeling's gaze tracked the small movement of his throat, remaining silent. Suddenly Quark thought about how unsatisfying his last kiss had been, stuck on some stranger's couch in the dark, and wanted something more. The underside of his tongue wet his bottom lip involuntarily and he leaned forward ever so slightly at the shoulders. Now that he had found himself in this situation, Quark was ready to be passionately kissed by Odo on the water's edge for quite possibly the rest of eternity, in the mood for all or nothing. In fact, the he was so enamoured with the possibility of sharing whatever this was becoming with Odo that he had completely zoned out, giddy in the head. He picked up on an exasperated growl of his name which had probably been called a few too many times and almost moaned aloud because since when had Odo's voice been able to make him feel like he had just been given the best oo-mox of his life-

"Quark,"

"-yes sorry, I was just. I'm listening." He'd been brought back to reality so quickly it felt like he'd been slammed into a wall, his secrets exposed all around him. Embarrassment welled up evidently with a blush around his cheekbones, dowsing his arousal as quickly as it had arrived. A defensive anger flared up to shield himself from Odo's possible but ultimately unlikely judgement, just as it always did whenever he was caught out and paranoid in any way. Odo remained clueless, and in fact he appeared a little disturbed by the lapse in Quark's attention, so he moved the conversation on.

"You were trying to catch me." It was a meaningless question in hindsight, Quark realised. His nerves had been frazzled and dangerously frayed all afternoon and that very moment seemed to be the peak of the day's emotional rollercoaster. It wasn't even a question, but an awkward statement referring to the fish Odo had taken the form of only minutes ago. It was simply misfortune that it was a statement that meant more to Quark than a fish in a holographic ocean on a holographic beach and that is what made his reaction quite so potent.

"Key word: trying. You got away just like you did before. If you didn't run off back into that big puddle where I can't follow you then maybe I _would've_ caught you and I wouldn't have to talk to a fake version of you to fill the gap. You're fake. You're nothing but the product of technology and the real you is in the worst kind of piss puddle in space." Breathless, Quark felt like the conversation had become focused on another matter entirely. The phoney Odo stood stiffly, unable to decide what exactly was happening or how to respond to it. The saltiness of the air began to sting and irritate his eyes now, and the waves were much too loud. Quark figured that that was why he was upset. His quarters seemed such more appealing than the ocean waves and golden colours of the beach now, and he just wanted to close up shop and lie in bed. "Computer, end programme."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can get the next parts up as soon as ya want em since they're already done so look forward to that, thanks for reading :)


	4. The Wolf in the Woods

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just an extra warning to anyone that needs it that this is post canon so beware of spoilers and such bla blah blah~

The next time Quark entered the holosuite he arrived with apprehension and guilt weighing down on his shoulders, and it was again very dark.

Crunching on dry leaves, he raised his head to find himself on a cliffside along a stretch of woodland. Granted that he had little expertise in geology, he managed to figure out that there was another level of woodland far below, almost as if he stood on the uplifted border of two tectonic plates. A puff of his breath floated out over the drop, diffusing into the night air as the stars caught his eyes and pulled his attention in towards them. A super-moon bathed the cliffside in a silver hue enough for Quark to see everything up to the treeline fairly well, which made him feel at least marginally safer. 

Touching a tentative hand to his lobes, he found that the ambience of the woods was much more still and bearable than the rainforest and felt inclined to sit. He tested the stability of the ground with a few calculated stamps of the foot and nodded to himself, satisfied that he could dangle his legs over the ledge and kick them to and fro.

For a few minutes he simply listened to the distant howling and the air agitating the branches of trees and thought about nothing, digging his fingers into the dirt on either side of him. When he felt ready, his mind naturally led him to thoughts of Odo: no doubt in close proximity, getting ever closer and deserving of some answers. The truth was that he missed him deeply: in a way that was hard to explain out loud even to himself on that lonely cliff, and encountering Odo in the holosuites had only made the situation worse because now Quark had stirred up feelings and he didn't think that a quick go-around with holo-Odo was going to even begin to help him now-

No, he was too far gone. He let out the breath he was holding and a small whimper of helplessness worked its way up his throat. He was really lost now and the more he thought about the whole situation the more he wished that _he_ was the hologram with someone sitting around and pining over _him_ instead. He'd be activated with the knowledge that Odo is missing him enough to find solace in a mere illusion of Quark's presence in a patched and bumped up holosuite. And when Odo has to go, Quark would be deactivated and his worries will dissipate until his return. It would make his life so much easier. Really, he could even spend an eternity that way.

Perhaps if he knew that Odo missed him at all in that moment, he wouldn't feel so inexcusably unhappy.

He shivered, brought out of his trail of thought by the sounds of rapid movement behind him he went to swivel around but was grabbed by the back of his shirt collar and violently yanked backwards, briefly feeling the wetness of a nose on his neck before he was airborne and landing on his haunches a few feet back. All of which took place before he could even finish a high pitched scream.

His grubby hands managed to find the ground and shove himself up onto his knees to face his attacker. Odo had taken the form of a tan coloured wolf, his ears plastered to the back of his skull and snarling out a pretty angry sound, but the eyes gave the game away to Quark long before he took on his familiar humanoid form. The little bartender goes to bat wolfy-Odo's nose in irritation but finds that it has disappeared before his hand got there.

"What do you think you're doing, hanging off an edge like that? Don't you know that Ferengi can't survive a fall that big any better than a human or bajoran can?" An accusing finger was jabbed into Quark's chest, who couldn't help but feel a deep rooted comfort that someone cared so much about his safety, no matter how real or fake they were. But his shins smarted where they had scraped the cliff on his way up, and he suspected he had a few grazes there now.

"Oh and as if almost mauling me is any better?" Odo had been nowhere near mauling him, but Quark didn't really care. Still a little ruffled, Odo let the comment slide and even managed to look apologetic while Quark fussed over his clothes and dusted them down. It was about time for the Ferengi's own apology and he knew it, but he didn't know how to begin. So he looked at Odo smiling at him and knew that he was already forgiven. They strayed a little further from the edge before Quark started up again. "Look Odo, I'm sorry about before. It's not your fault- I'm just confused; and station life has felt sickeningly bland than since you went off on your quest and I want you back but at the same time I want you to be happy but I can't have both-"

"I think the problem here is that neither of us were able to take the risk of ruining whatever we used to have for what we could have had, and the only solution I had was to run away and chase one of my other callings now that I had duty to fulfil on my home planet."

"Yeah." Quark said, breathless. "I wish I'd had this conversation with you before all this happened."

"Everything is always clearer in hindsight." Odo supplied helpfully, smoothing a crease in Quark's sleeve. "If I loved you then, who's to say I don't regard you in the same way now?"

"Odo I don't even know how all your changeling-saviour baloney works or if you even still exist, nevermind if travelling the galaxy to see if you're ready to start an awkward slow burning relationship with me after years of uhh- tense at the best of times pining and misunderstandings is a good idea. I can't exactly call up the big puddle and ask out the specific goo that is Odo several years late, you know?"

"I... don't see what's wrong with that."

Why not. Why not? Quark didn't have that many strong arguments to suggest that he shouldn't give it a shot anymore.

"Either everything stays the same and nothing can be done, or you come home." He murmured, gazing up into Odo's face and the moonlight upon it.

"I will come home, you can count on it." Odo shadowed him, taking him by the hands for comfort.


	5. Humanoid on the Hill

At least two weeks had passed since Quark's last encounter with Odo in the holosuites. It wasn't so much that he was avoiding the suites per se but that he had less time, what with Morn returning from his vacation with a new harem of friends to cater to at the bar and the increasing frequency of occasions that his friends and family tended to visit him since the heavy depletion of his general demeanor became more evident. Quark had had a lot to think about since he last left the holosuite. Since that day, the idea of trying to contact Odo had plagued and tempted him for every waking minute of every single last one of his days. Not once did it ever completely leave his mind, relentless in torturing him with indecision on how to proceed with his life.

"Maybe you really should try to talk to him. For real, this time. I'm sure there will be some way to contact him. I understand that this is your way of dealing with the whole situation but I'm worried about you, Quark. You're so subdued." Ezri watched the glass he was carrying to her wobble and her concern deepened visibly.

"Look, I have a lot to think about. It's an erratic period, profits are fluctuating so dramatically each day, and it's stressful. But I'm fine. Even if I wanted to, we couldn't just click our fingers and get him back now. He's probably so far gone in that puddle of changelings that he doesn't even remember what we look like and that's if he knows us at all." The phrase 'the drop becomes the ocean, the ocean becomes the drop' sprung to Quark's mind. He felt disheartened by it- was scared of what it meant for Odo; and found that he wasn't sure if he even wanted to know the truth. Odo was like a single drop of saltwater in a fresh water lake: appearing so similar to the rest of his kind that it was easy to assume he belonged in the link, but he was made up of something different and it unsettled Quark to think of how easily that drop could be lost to the rest of the lake.

"You don't know that. Odo didn't leave on a death mission. How could you say that for sure until we give it a try?" Ezri pushed on, seeing the giveaway glaze of a undecided man hanging on the balance of sanity in Quark's eyes.

"Because I have a feeling in my chest that's telling me so." It was true. Palpitations rocked through his chest every time he got hung up on thinking about whether there was any Odo left to get back. It was probably no more than a chronic stress response, but he was inclined to believe in it anyway.

"That's-"

"Can we get another round of drinks please?" Came a request from a table on the upper level. Quark took his leave, thanking Dax for the company. He dwelled on the conversation on his way to the bar and was still unsettled by the time he delivered the tray of drinks, so he hovered by the entrance of one of the empty holosuites for a moment or two before throwing his hands up and going inside.

"Computer, activate programme Quark delta seven nine and lock the holosuite doors, authorization code Quark alpha one four."

"Acknowledged."

A grassy incline sloped in front of him and a gentle breeze hit his face, spurring him into action. Huffing, he climbed until he could see over the top of the hill, taking in a quaint tree with branches that almost seemed to corkscrew towards the sky. A familiar figure was standing underneath it, their stance loose and serene.

Quark exhaled sharply, catching his breath as Odo turned to face him.

"Quark." He greeted him warmly, gesturing a hand to bring his attention to the views around them of other small grassy hills and stretches that went back as far as they could see on the horizon. "Peaceful, isn't it?"

"Yes," he joined Odo under the tree, touching his elbow lightly and receiving a wide smile, which somehow made him feel worse. "Odo, can I ask you something?"

"Of course. What is it?" Quark felt hands on his arms, checking him over. He pushed on with his cause, keeping his thoughts as gathered as he could and gesturing between them both.

"Say this isn't happening between us. Before all of our recent meetings, me and you. If you went somewhere no one could really follow, not even me, do you think you might ever just come back? No questions asked, no persuasion needed? Hypothetically. If I asked you to."

Odo stared at him blankly, rubbing the insides of his wrists in a caring manner that Quark tried to ignore.

"I wouldn't have gone in the first place. Not if I knew how you felt."

"But you did go. You left everyone on the station years ago. And you left me too regardless of how I might have felt, you didnt care." Quark hadn't meant for it to come out quite so bitter and accusingly, but he didn't seem to regret it. "...But you wouldn't know. You're not actually Odo." He tried to pull his wrists out of Odo's grasp but the hands there held fast. Holographic Odo caught on to the truth.

"You don't ask for comfort when you need it, and you become irrationally quarrelsome when you don't want anyone to read your emotions. But once I learnt that, everything was easier. Now, if the other version of me were able to see this and if you would have just admitted it..."

"What? This is your fault. I'm the one who didn't leave the station, bear that in mind." Quark finally broke his arms away from their hold and folded them so tightly that his joints ached and complained.

"Odo was trying to find out where he belonged. It's hard to understand how much someone wants you around if all they do is cover up their feelings and insult you all day long, I can imagine."

"Odo, you do exactly the same thing-"

Finally, everything snapped together in Quark's mind. Of course Odo had left. He couldn't even figure out his own feelings, nevermind seeing through all of the bullshit Quark conjured up to cover his own vulnerability and emotions up. A sense of the initial hope of a happy solution to everything that Quark had felt after Odo's departure began to emerge once again.

"You are a terrible replica of Odo. You have much more common sense." Rejuvenated, Quark slapped the front of Odo's uniform and grinned. "But... you're right- maybe it's worth a shot. It might just be the only thing I can do short of going there myself. I'm going to try and contact you as soon as possible. You know, I could kiss you right now."

Odo blinked, taken aback by the sudden change of heart. Upon looking at him, Quark felt guilt begin to rise inside himself. He pressed on.

"Look, I'm sorry about all of this. This is... pretty weird." He pressed his lips together, feeling itchy and uncomfortable.

"It seems that all this was necessary to resolve the real thing. I'm glad that it happened." Odo nodded, putting a hand on Quark's shoulder. "But before you go, could I ask a favour of you?"

"Sure. I owe you one, after all."

"It's unlikely that you'll need to activate this programme again anytime soon. So have one more conversation with me."

Something about that request made Quark's chest ache, but he rised to the task and fully intended to respect holo-Odo's wishes. 

"I can do that," he sat down beneath the tree and tried to lighten the mood instead. "Maybe you can tell me what other deep and dark things you found out when analysing me."

Odo sat beside him and scoffed.

"Of course."


End file.
